Chapter 15: What's Underneath
Madam Pomfrey wouldn’t let them in.
Harry and Ron went up to the hospital wing first thing on Boxing Day morning, still in their new jumpers, and found the doors firmly shut and Madam Pomfrey standing in front of them with her arms folded, like a very small, very stern gatekeeper.
‘No visitors,’ she said.
‘But we only want to see if she’s-’
‘No visitors, Mr Potter. Not you, not Mr Weasley, not the Minister for Magic himself. Miss Granger has had a very nasty shock, and a nastier transfiguration, and I’ll not have her fretted at while I’m trying to put her face back the way it was. Off you go.’
‘Is she all right, though?’ said Harry. ‘Is she...’
Madam Pomfrey’s face softened, just a fraction.
‘She’ll mend,’ she said. ‘It’ll take time. These things always do. Animal hair’s the very worst, it gets right down into the roots. But she’ll mend.’ She looked at the two of them, in their matching Weasley jumpers, and something in her face softened a little further. ‘She asked after you both. Last night. Before she’d let me do a thing for her, she wanted to know you’d got back safely. Now go.’
They went.
Harry was worried about Hermione. He kept seeing her face, furry and wet with tears, in the cracked mirror of Myrtle’s bathroom. He kept hearing her voice through the cubicle door. I thought I did it right. I thought I was right. It had been the most frightened he’d ever heard her sound, and it hadn’t been the fur she was frightened of. Or not only the fur.
But he had something more pressing on his mind.
The diary.
He didn’t understand it. He’d shoved it to the very bottom of his trunk on Christmas night, wrapped up in the Invisibility Cloak, and told himself he’d leave it there until they knew what it was. And he had. Mostly. But he kept thinking about it. At breakfast he thought about it. Over Exploding Snap he thought about it. He’d be in the middle of a sentence and find that his mind had wandered off upstairs to the dormitory and was lifting the lid of his trunk, all on its own, to make sure the diary was still there. There was something about it that drew him. It fascinated him. It was like a word on the tip of his tongue. It even seemed, in some odd way he couldn’t account for, familiar, as though it were something he’d known a long time ago and half forgotten.
He tried his best to get on with the rest of the holidays. Term would start again soon enough, and everyone would come back, and go back to flattening themselves against the walls when he walked past. He wanted to enjoy the quiet while it lasted.
Ron, it turned out, was determined to make sure he did.
‘Come on,’ Ron said, on the afternoon of Boxing Day, appearing at the foot of Harry’s bed with two pairs of gloves and a very sly look. ‘Get your boots on.’
‘Where are we going?’
‘Out. Fred and George’ve told me something.’ Ron dropped his voice. ‘There’s a way into the broom shed round the back of the pitch, where the lock’s broken. They’ve been using it for years. Wood doesn’t know. Nobody’s going to be out there in this.’ He nodded at the window, where the snow lay thick and white over the grounds and the sky was a hard, clean blue. ‘Fancy a fly?’
They flew for two hours.
Ron had a school broom that pulled to the left and shuddered every time it went over twenty feet, and Harry had his Nimbus, and the whole of the white, empty Quidditch pitch was theirs. They raced each other round the goalposts. They threw snowballs at each other from the air, which was much harder than it sounded, and Ron got Harry square in the back of the neck from thirty feet away and nearly fell off his broom laughing. Harry taught Ron the loop he’d done to dodge the Bludger, and Ron fell off doing it, into a snowdrift, and came up spitting snow and roaring with laughter, and Harry laughed so much he had to land.
They lay on their backs in the snow afterwards, side by side, getting their breath back, looking up at the blue sky with their breath going up in clouds.
‘Best Christmas I’ve ever had,’ said Harry, after a while. ‘This one and last one. I mean it.’
Ron was quiet for a moment.
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’ Harry turned his head. ‘Before Hogwarts, Christmas was... I mean, it was Dudley’s day. Mostly I just stayed out of the way. Last year was the first year anyone ever gave me anything. And this year...’ He couldn’t find a way to finish it. He looked back up at the sky. ‘Thanks, Ron. For all of it. For being my mate. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t.’
Ron went red right up to his ears. He looked very hard at a cloud.
‘Shut up,’ he said. ‘You daft prat.’ Then, after a moment, more quietly, ‘Same, mate. You know. Same.’
They lay there until the cold got into their bones, and then went in for tea, and Ron, Harry noticed, put two extra sausages on Harry’s plate when he thought Harry wasn’t looking. He did it every meal now. He’d been doing it since the summer, since the bars on the window. He never said anything about it, and Harry never said anything about it either. But he noticed. He always noticed.
The day after Harry took the diary, Malfoy went absolutely mad.
Harry didn’t see the start of it. Nobody in Gryffindor did. There were only a handful of Slytherins left in the whole school over the holidays, but every one of them saw what happened, and by lunchtime it was all over the castle.
According to the gossip, Malfoy had woken up and started looking for something. She’d turned out her trunk. Then she’d turned out everyone else’s. Then she’d started on the common room, pulling cushions off chairs and books off shelves and the rugs off the floor. When she still couldn’t find it, she’d started screaming. She’d screamed at Pansy, and at Tracey Davis, and at Crabbe and Goyle, who’d turned up at breakfast with no shoes and no idea where they’d been for most of Christmas night. She’d thrown a candlestick at a prefect. Even among the Slytherins, Malfoy had always been known as haughty, and downright rude when she felt like it. But this was something else. This was unhinged. She’d gone round the whole dungeon accusing everybody she could find of stealing it.
And then she’d come up to breakfast.
Harry was halfway through a bowl of porridge when the doors of the Great Hall banged open and she came in.
She looked dreadful. She was still in her nightdress, with her school cloak thrown over the top of it and buttoned up wrong, and her feet were bare on the cold stone. Her hair was a wild white tangle. Her eyes were huge and pale and staring and red-rimmed, and they were going everywhere at once, darting from table to table, from face to face, from hand to hand, as if she expected to catch somebody holding the thing she’d lost.
Pansy Parkinson came running in after her, and two or three other Slytherins, and a big, worried-looking Hufflepuff prefect who must have met them on the stairs.
‘Dracina, please, come back down, come on, you’re not well...’
Malfoy shook her off.
‘Where is it?’ she said. Her voice was hoarse, as though she’d been screaming for hours. ‘Where is it? Somebody’s got it. Somebody’s taken it. Thief. Thief.’ She went along the end of the Hufflepuff table, staring into people’s laps, under their plates, into their bags. A second-year shrank away from her. ‘Was it you? Was it you? You’ve got it, haven’t you? You’ve got it in your pocket. Give it back. Give it back. It’s mine. It’s mine, it’s precious, it was given to me, it was meant for me...’
‘Dracina,’ said Pansy, almost crying. ‘Dracina, what’s yours? Nobody’s got anything. Please...’
But Malfoy didn’t seem to hear her. She didn’t seem to know Pansy was there. Even Pansy, long-suffering Pansy, who had put up with Malfoy for years without a word of complaint, couldn’t get through to her. Malfoy was in a world of her own. She was muttering. She was talking to herself, in a high, fast, breathless whisper, and Harry, who had gone very still with his spoon halfway to his mouth, could hear some of it from where he sat.
‘...they took it, they took it from me, nasty sneaking thieving little... I looked, I looked everywhere, under the beds, in the drawers, in the cracks... it’s mine, mine, my precious, I found it, it came to me... I want it back... I need it... they’ll be sorry, they’ll all be sorry, when I find out which one...’
She grabbed a plate of toast off the Hufflepuff table and flung it against the wall. Then a jug of milk. Then a dish of marmalade, which hit the Ravenclaw table and showered three first-years. The Hufflepuff prefect tried to take hold of her arm and she whirled round and scratched his face, three long red lines down his cheek, and he let go with a yell.
‘Thief!‘ she screamed at him. ‘Thieves! All of you! Every one of you, you’re all thieves, you’re all the same...’
And then her eyes found Harry.
Her gaze went past him, and stopped, and came slowly back. She looked straight at him, down the whole length of the Gryffindor table. And something went across her face that he couldn’t read at all. It wasn’t quite rage. It was something much more complicated than rage.
She came towards him.
‘You,’ she said.
Ron was on his feet at once. So were Fred and George. Harry stayed where he was.
‘You,’ Malfoy said again. She stopped a few feet from him, swaying, staring down at him with those pale, bloodshot, enormous eyes. ‘Look at you. Just look at you. Sitting there. Eating your porridge. As if nothing... as if you’re just anybody. You stupid, blind, useless...’
‘Malfoy,’ said Harry, ‘you need to go to the hospital wing.’
‘Don’t you tell me what I need!’ she shrieked. ‘You don’t know anything! You don’t know anything about anything! You’re an orphan, Potter. Nobody ever taught you anything. Nobody ever wanted to. You’re a Mudblood-loving, Muggle-raised, half-starved little orphan, and you don’t even know what you are! You let them... you just let them... you let them treat you like that, like... like a dog... and you go back! Every year, you go back to them! You go back to their nasty little house and their nasty little rules and you just take it! Why do you take it? You’re better than them! You’re better than all of them! You could make them sorry, you could make every single one of them sorry, and you just sit there with your porridge and your Mudblood and your stupid, stupid face...’
She hit him.
It wasn’t a slap. It was a fist, clumsy and wild, and it caught him on the shoulder, and then she was hitting him again, both fists, on his arms and his chest and the side of his head, not hard, not really, not like Dudley, but over and over and over, sobbing as she did it.
‘It wasn’t my fault! It wasn’t my fault! I didn’t want it! I didn’t want them to do that to you, I never wanted anybody to... you weren’t supposed to... you’re supposed to rise, you’re supposed to make them all pay, the Muggles and the Mudbloods and the whole filthy... and then nobody would ever, ever hurt you again, and I’d be... I’d be right there, I’d be next to you, I’d...’
Ron reached for her. He’d got one hand on her shoulder, and was just about to haul her off Harry bodily, when the doors at the far end of the Hall swung open.
Dumbledore came down between the tables.
He didn’t hurry. He didn’t need to. Everybody in the Hall had gone quite silent, and the silence seemed to roll out ahead of him as he walked, like a carpet. He came up behind Malfoy, and Ron let go of her and stepped back, and Dumbledore laid one long, thin hand very gently on top of her tangled white head.
Malfoy stopped.
Her fists dropped. All the fight went out of her in a single breath. Her eyes rolled up, and her knees gave way, and Dumbledore caught her as she fell and lowered her, quite carefully, onto the bench beside Harry, where she lay with her head on the table and her eyes closed, as limp as a rag doll, breathing slowly and deeply.
‘There,’ said Dumbledore softly. ‘There, now.’
He looked round at the staring faces.
‘Miss Malfoy,’ he said, in a clear, calm voice that carried to every corner of the Hall, ‘is very unwell. She has contracted an uncommon complaint called Morrigan’s Fever. It is, I’m happy to say, quite curable. It is also quite unpleasant. It brings on fits of delirium, and wild fancies, and a great deal of distress, and those who suffer from it are not to be held responsible for anything they may say or do while it lasts.’ He looked very hard, over his half-moon spectacles, at the Slytherin table, and then at the Hufflepuff prefect with the scratched face, and then, for rather longer, at Harry. ‘I trust that nobody here will hold any of this against her. I’m sure she will be very sorry indeed when she is well.’
He drew out his wand and flicked it. A stretcher appeared out of thin air beneath Malfoy, and lifted her gently, and floated up to the height of Dumbledore’s elbow.
‘Come along, Miss Parkinson,’ Dumbledore said kindly to Pansy, who was crying openly now. ‘You may walk up with her, if you like.’
They went out together, Dumbledore and the floating stretcher and Pansy hurrying alongside it, holding Malfoy’s limp hand.
The doors closed behind them.
For a moment, nobody said anything. Then, all at once, everybody did.
And it was all about Harry. He could feel it. He could feel the eyes, and hear the whispers, rippling out along the tables from where he sat. Did you hear her? Did you hear what she said? ‘You’re supposed to rise.’ ‘You could make them all pay.’ She knows. She knows something. She’s in Slytherin, she’d know. She was trying to tell everyone. The heir. Potter. It’s Potter.
Harry sat very still, rubbing his shoulder where she’d hit him first, and looked down at his cold porridge.
‘Morrigan’s Fever,’ said Fred, after a moment. ‘Ever heard of it, George?’
‘Can’t say I have, Fred.’
‘Me neither.’
Ron sat down heavily next to Harry and put a hand on the back of his neck, just for a second, and squeezed. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to.
Harry sighed.
He wondered whether, with everybody busy talking about Malfoy, this might be a good time to try the hospital wing again. Madam Pomfrey would be busy. She might not notice him slip in. He might at least be able to say hello to Hermione through the curtains.
He went up alone, while Ron finished his breakfast. The doors of the hospital wing were open, for once, because Dumbledore had only just carried Malfoy through them. Harry slipped inside.
The ward was dim and quiet. Most of the beds were empty. At the far end, Colin Creevey and Justin Finch-Fletchley lay as still as statues behind their screens. Near the windows was a bed with its curtains drawn tightly all the way round, which must be Hermione’s. And right next to it, right next to it, in the very next bed, not three feet away, with Pansy sitting beside her holding her hand and Madam Pomfrey bending over her with a bottle of something purple, lay Dracina Malfoy.
Of bloody course, Harry thought.
Mercifully, the curtains round Hermione’s bed were closed. She couldn’t see who was next to her. Harry crept up to the curtains.
‘Hermione?’ he whispered. ‘It’s me.’
‘Harry!‘ The curtains twitched, but didn’t open. Her voice was thick and wobbly, as though she’d been crying a great deal and was trying hard not to sound like it. ‘Don’t come in. Please don’t come in. I don’t want you to see. I look...’ She stopped. ‘What’s going on? Somebody came in. Somebody’s in the next bed. I heard Professor Dumbledore. And somebody’s crying. Who is it?’
Harry opened his mouth.
Over the top of Malfoy’s bed, Madam Pomfrey looked up at him. She didn’t say a word. She simply gave him a look. It was a long, level, extremely meaningful look, and it said, as plainly as if she’d written it on a sign and held it up: Don’t you dare tell her.
‘Er,’ said Harry. ‘Just... someone from... someone who’s ill. Some fever thing. It’s not catching. Probably.’ He swallowed. ‘How are you feeling? Are you all right?’
‘I’m fine.’
‘You don’t sound fine.’
‘I’m fine, Harry.’ There was a pause, and then, in a much smaller voice, ‘I’m not fine. I’m awful. I’ve got whiskers. And a tail. And everyone’s going to know, and I can’t stop thinking about it, how stupid I was, how I didn’t even check, I just assumed, I always just assume, and I was so sure...’
‘Hermione...’
‘Who’s in the next bed?’ Her voice had sharpened. ‘Harry. You’re not telling me something. I can hear it in your voice. Who is it?’
‘Nobody. Look, I’d better go, Madam Pomfrey’s giving me a look, I only wanted to say hello, I’ll come back, all right? We’ll come back as soon as she lets us. Me and Ron. We... we miss you. Get better. Bye!’
He fled.
He was halfway down the corridor outside when he heard the rattle of curtain rings being dragged back along a rail, very fast, and then a short, shocked silence, and then a shriek so loud that it rang off the stone walls and made a portrait of a sleeping wizard fall clean out of his chair.
‘WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?!’
Harry ran.
He slowed down when he got back to the Great Hall. Breakfast was nearly over. Most of the few people left at school had drifted away, still muttering, still glancing at him sideways. But down at the far end of the Gryffindor table, Ron was sitting with Fred and George, and the three of them had their heads together over something under the table and were laughing so hard that Ron had tears running down his face.
Harry smiled. He started towards them.
Then he stopped.
He didn’t know why. He was standing in the middle of the Great Hall, and he could see Ron, and Ron was laughing, and he wanted very much to go and sit down and find out what was so funny. But at the same time there was something else. A tug. A pull, like a hook in his chest, drawing him the other way, up the stairs, up to Gryffindor Tower, up to the dormitory, to his trunk. To the diary.
Just for a minute, he thought. Just to look at it. Then I’ll come back down.
He turned round and went out of the Hall.
The dormitory was empty. He knelt by his trunk and dug down through his robes and his spellbooks to the very bottom, and pulled out the bundle of Invisibility Cloak, and unwrapped it, and there it was. Small, and black, and shabby, and completely ordinary.
He sat down on his bed with it.
He turned it over in his hands. He looked at the cover, the spine, and the worn gold letters on the back. T. M. Riddle. Tom. He’d known that much since Christmas night, sitting by the dying fire with Ron. Tom Riddle, whoever he’d been, fifty years ago. Then he opened it, and leafed through it, very slowly, from beginning to end.
Empty. Every page.
Harry frowned. That didn’t make any sense. He’d seen Dracina write in it. Lots of times. In Potions, at dinner, at the Slytherin table, bent over it with her quill going and her face all lit up. He’d seen her do it in the common room on Christmas night with his own eyes, through Goyle’s. So where had it all gone? Where were all the pages and pages she must have written? Had she rubbed it all out? Torn out the pages? But none of the pages were missing. It didn’t make any sense at all.
He sat looking at it for a long time.
Then he reached over to his bedside table, and picked up the eagle-feather quill Hermione had given him for Christmas, and unscrewed his ink bottle, and dipped the quill in it.
Just one word, he thought. Just to see.
He wrote, at the top of the first page, Hello.
The ink shone on the page for a moment. Then it sank into it, the way water sinks into dry sand, and was gone. The page was as blank as it had been before.
Harry stared at it.
‘Well, that’s stupid,’ he said aloud, to the empty dormitory. ‘What’s the point of a diary that erases what you write in it? How’s anyone supposed to...’
He stopped.
Something was happening on the page. Ink was oozing up out of it. Words were forming, slowly, in a neat, sloping, old-fashioned hand that wasn’t his.
Hello.
Harry nearly dropped it.
The words sat there on the page a moment, shining. Then they sank away again, the way his had done. And more came up after them.
You’re not Dracina.
Harry looked at it with his heart going very fast. Was this diary enchanted somehow? It had to be. He’d heard of books that bit, and books that screamed, and books that you couldn’t stop reading once you’d started. Fred and George had told him about one that made you speak in limericks for the rest of your life. But he’d never heard of a book that wrote back.
He felt very stupid. He felt as though he were talking to a teapot. But he dipped the quill again anyway, and wrote:
How do you know Dracina?
The ink sank. There was a pause. Then:
I’m helping her.
Harry’s mouth went tight. He thought of Malfoy in the Great Hall that morning, barefoot in her nightgown, with her eyes like that, screaming, throwing toast. He thought of the waxy grey look of her skin in the Slytherin common room, and the shadows under her eyes, and the way she’d giggled. He thought of her lying flat on a stretcher in the hospital wing right now.
He wrote, quite hard, so that the nib scratched:
You have a funny way of helping her.
He wasn’t concerned, of course. Not about Malfoy. He was just annoyed.
The ink sank away. And then, after a moment, the reply came up.
You are concerned, I see.
There was a pause. It was a second or two, no more, but it was a real pause, the kind a person makes when they’re thinking. As though whatever was on the other side of the page was looking at him. Considering him. Then another line formed.
You’re Harry Potter, aren’t you?
Harry dropped the quill.
It rolled off the bed and onto the floor, and left a little trail of ink across the floorboards. He didn’t pick it up. He sat staring at the page, with all the skin on the back of his neck prickling. How did this diary know that? How could it possibly know? He hadn’t written his name. He hadn’t written anything but four lines. What sort of dark enchantment was inside it?
The diary, as though it had sensed that he wasn’t going to answer, wrote another line.
She writes about you all the time. ALL of the time, Harry.
Harry felt something inside him relax. He actually laughed. It came out of him as a sort of triumphant snort.
Well, of course she did. That was hardly news. He bent down and fished the quill off the floor and wrote, with a certain grim satisfaction:
I know. She can’t stand me. She’s always going on at me. She’s obsessed with being horrible to me, she has been since the day we met.
The ink sank. And the reply came up almost at once, as though it had been waiting.
She is, but also you must notice what’s underneath?
Harry looked at that for a long moment.
He dipped his quill. He set the nib to the page. He was just about to write What’s underneath? when...
‘HARRY!‘
It was Ron, bellowing up the staircase from the common room.
‘HARRY, GET DOWN HERE! QUICK! YOU HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS!’
Harry jumped so hard he nearly knocked over the ink. He looked down at the diary, at the blank page, at the place where the last words had been. Then he snapped it shut, wrapped it hastily in the Cloak, stuffed it back down to the bottom of his trunk, slammed the lid, and ran.
Ron was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, purple in the face, practically hopping.
‘Come on, you’ve got to see, Fred and George’ve done the armour, all of it, the whole Entrance Hall...’
They pelted down through the castle. And when they got to the top of the marble staircase, Harry stopped dead and grabbed the banister and laughed until he couldn’t breathe.
Every single suit of armour in the Entrance Hall had come down off its plinth. There were about twenty of them. They’d formed themselves into a long line, with their steel arms round each other’s shoulders, and they were doing the can-can. They were kicking their legs up as high as they’d go, clanging and clattering, with their visors flapping, and they were singing, in deep, booming, echoing metal voices, a song that Harry was fairly sure was not a carol. Peeves was conducting them from the chandelier with a stick of celery. And Filch was running up and down the line, purple with rage, trying to grab hold of them, and every time he got near one it kicked its leg up and he had to duck.
‘Twenty-six hours,’ Fred said proudly, appearing at Harry’s elbow. ‘It took us twenty-six hours to get the timing right.’
‘Worth every one,’ said George.
Ron was hanging on to Harry’s shoulder, helpless with laughter. Harry was hanging on to Ron’s. Below them, a suit of armour with a halberd did the splits with a noise like a dropped dinner tray. Filch screamed.
Harry didn’t think about the diary again for the rest of the day.
The next day, Hermione was still in the hospital wing.
Harry woke up thinking about Malfoy. He didn’t want to. He lay in bed and tried to think about Quidditch, and about Hermione, and about the suits of armour, and he kept coming back round to Malfoy. To the things she’d said in the Great Hall. You let them treat you like that. You go back. You’re better than them. She’d been raving. Dumbledore had said she was raving. But it went round and round in his head, like a splinter in his mind that he couldn’t get out. And he needed answers about the diary anyway. If anyone knew what it was, it was her.
So after breakfast he went back up to the hospital wing.
Madam Pomfrey let him in, this time, with only a sharp look and a warning not to excite anybody. Hermione was asleep. Her curtains were drawn, and Madam Pomfrey said she’d given her something to help her rest, and Harry wasn’t to wake her. But the curtains round the next bed were drawn back, and Malfoy was sitting up against her pillows.
She looked better. Not well, but better. There was a little colour in her face, and her hair had been brushed, and her eyes had lost that terrible wide, staring look. She was glaring at Hermione’s drawn curtains as though she could see straight through them, as though she’d been glaring at them for hours. Then she saw Harry, and her whole face changed.
It lit up. There was no other word for it. For one moment, before she could stop it, she looked delighted to see him.
Then she remembered herself, and folded her arms.
‘What do you want?’
‘Came to see how you were,’ said Harry. ‘After... yesterday.’
‘I’m fine.’ But she sat up a little straighter, and pulled her blanket up, and touched her hair. ‘Morrigan’s Fever. Dumbledore says. It’s very rare. Very aristocratic. Only the best families get it.’
‘Right,’ said Harry.
He sat down on the end of the empty bed opposite. He’d thought on the way up about how he was going to do this, and he still wasn’t sure.
‘Malfoy,’ he said carefully. ‘That book you had. The black one. The one you were always writing in. What is it?’
Something went over her face. It was like watching a shutter come down.
‘Why?’ she said. ‘Why d’you want to know about that?’
‘I just wondered. You had it all the time. At meals. In lessons. I just wondered what it was. And whether... whether it had anything to do with all this. The Chamber, and...’
‘Where is it?’
‘What?’
‘Where is it?’ She’d leaned forward. Her hands had come out from under the blanket and were clutching at it, twisting it. Her voice had gone thin and quick. ‘You know, don’t you. You know where it is. I can see it in your face. You know where it’s gone. Somebody took it, somebody took it from me, and you know...’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking...’
‘Tell me!‘ The colour was coming up in her face again, two hot red patches. Her eyes had started to go wide. ‘Tell me where it is! It’s mine! It’s mine, Potter, I need it, I can’t... I can’t sleep without it, I can’t think, there’s nobody to talk to... where is it? Where is it? Is it her?’ Her head jerked round towards Hermione’s curtains. ‘Has she got it? Has that little Mudblood got my...’
‘Leave Hermione out of it.’
‘Oh, leave Hermione out of it.’ Malfoy’s lip curled. Her voice had gone high and mocking. ‘Always Hermione. Always Granger. Saint Granger, the Mudblood martyr. Do you know why she’s in here, Potter? I do. I heard Pomfrey. Whiskers. She’s got whiskers. She’s finally turned into what she’s always been, a nasty little stray moggy sniffing round where she’s not wanted...’
‘Shut up, Malfoy.’
‘Make me, Scarhead.’
‘Oh, very clever. Did you think that one up yourself, or did Crabbe help?’
‘At least my friends can read, Potter.’
‘Can they? Have you checked? I’ve seen Goyle try to open a door by reading the sign on it.’
‘That’s more than Weasley can manage. He can’t even read his own wand. It keeps exploding.’
‘At least he’s not a mental case who throws toast at prefects in her nightie.’
‘I was ILL!‘
‘You still are, by the sound of it!’
‘Well, you’re ugly!’
‘You’re mad!’
‘You’re speccy!’
‘You’re a spoilt brat!’
They were both glaring at each other now, red in the face, breathing hard, like two cats on a fence. Madam Pomfrey had put her head out of her office and was watching them with her eyebrows somewhere up near her cap.
‘You’re always going on about me,’ Harry said. ‘Always. You talk about me all the time.’
Malfoy went very still.
‘How do you know that?’ she said sharply.
Harry’s stomach dropped. He’d said too much. He thought fast.
‘Everyone knows,’ he said. ‘The Slytherins are all saying it. After what you did in the Great Hall. They’re saying you never shut up about me. They’re saying it’s all you ever talk about.’
For a moment Malfoy didn’t move at all. Then her chin came up, very high.
‘I talk about you,’ she said, ‘because I hate you. Obviously. I talk about you the way you’d talk about a... a wasp. Or a bad smell. Or a nasty rash you can’t get rid of. That’s all.’
‘Fine.’
‘Fine.’
There was a short, furious silence.
Then Malfoy looked at him, and something changed in her eyes. It went cold, and quiet, and very precise, like a needle.
‘Is that why you’re so skinny, Potter?’ she said softly. ‘Those Muggles of yours. They don’t feed you, do they?’
Harry went still.
‘They don’t feed you, and they don’t want you, and they shut you up in your room and they don’t care whether you live or die. And then every summer you go back. You get on the train and you go back to them, like a dog that’s been kicked and still comes running when it’s called. Because there’s nowhere else that’ll have you. Nobody else in the whole world. Is that it? Is that what it’s like, being the famous Harry Potter?’
Harry stood up.
He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. Something had come up into his throat, hot and thick, and his eyes had started to sting, and he knew that if he opened his mouth it would all come out, and he would rather have died than let Dracina Malfoy see him cry. He’d never told her. He’d never told her any of it. How did she know? How could she possibly know? And of everything she could have said to him, of all the cruel, sneering, spiteful things in the world, she’d picked that.
He turned round and walked out.
‘Potter!‘ Her voice came after him, cracked and furious. ‘Potter, come back, I didn’t... come back here! Don’t you dare walk away from me! Scarhead! SCARHEAD!’
He didn’t look back.
That was it, Harry told himself, walking very fast along the corridor with his fists clenched and his eyes stinging. That was absolutely it. He was never going to speak to Dracina Malfoy again. Not ever. Every single time he started to think there might be something else there, something underneath, she proved all over again exactly what she was. A bully. A horrible, cruel, nasty bully, even when she thought nobody was watching. Especially then.
He didn’t go back to the common room. He couldn’t face it. He went up instead, as high as he could go, to a window seat on a landing near the top of the Astronomy Tower where hardly anybody ever came, and sat there with his knees drawn up, looking out at the snow.
Ron found him there an hour later.
Harry didn’t know how. He never asked. Ron just appeared at the top of the stairs, out of breath, with his hands in his pockets, and looked at Harry, and looked at his face, and didn’t ask what was wrong.
He sat down on the other end of the window seat instead.
After a minute he pulled a squashed paper bag out of his pocket and held it out.
‘Mum’s fudge,’ he said. ‘ I have the last few bits. Fred and George don’t know I’ve still got some. You can have it.’
Harry took a piece. They sat there for a while, eating Mrs Weasley’s fudge and watching the snow coming down over the Forbidden Forest.
‘Malfoy,’ Ron said eventually. It wasn’t a question.
‘Yeah.’
‘What’d she say?’
Harry didn’t answer for a long time.
‘About the Dursleys,’ he said at last. ‘About me going back. Every summer. Like a dog.’
Ron went very quiet.
Then he said, in a low, careful voice that Harry had only ever heard him use once before, in the summer, outside a window with bars on it, ‘She doesn’t know anything, mate. She doesn’t know anything about you. And you’re not going back.’ He said it fiercely. ‘Not this summer. Mum said. You’re coming to ours, and that’s that. And if those Muggles want you, they can come to the Burrow and ask for you, and Mum’ll set the ghoul on them. And Fred and George. And me.’ He shoved the bag of fudge back at Harry. ‘Have another. Go on. You didn’t eat lunch.’
Harry looked at him.
‘How d’you know I didn’t eat lunch?’
Ron shrugged and looked out of the window.
‘I always know,’ he said.
Harry took another piece of fudge. He didn’t trust himself to say anything. But after a while he leaned sideways, just a little, until his shoulder was against Ron’s, and Ron leaned back, and they sat there like that, watching the snow, until it got dark.
Malfoy was let out of the hospital wing two days after that.
She was a good deal better, Madam Pomfrey said. Well enough to go back to the dungeons, at any rate, and Madam Pomfrey made no secret of being relieved about it. It turned out that for those two days, the moment Hermione woke up and Malfoy heard her moving behind her curtains, the pair of them had been at it hammer and tongs, through the cloth, from one bed to the next, from morning until night.
Harry heard some of it himself, the one time he went up with Ron before Malfoy left. They’d barely got through the doors.
‘...and I was sitting next to him at the Christmas feast, so...’
‘You weren’t at the Christmas feast, Granger, you were in a cubicle, growing a tail...’
‘At least I’ve got a reason for being in here. You threw toast...’
‘I was ILL!‘
‘Ladies!‘ snapped Madam Pomfrey.
Neither of them could see that he’d come in. Neither of them knew he could hear. And it took Harry a good long minute, standing frozen just inside the doors with Ron trying very hard not to laugh beside him, to realise that every single thing they were shouting at each other was, somehow or other, about him.
After that, Madam Pomfrey always gave Harry a very particular look whenever he came to the hospital wing. It was a sympathetic look. A deeply, profoundly sympathetic look, the sort of look you’d give somebody who had just been told that they had to walk home through a thunderstorm without an umbrella. Harry had no idea what he’d done to deserve it. Ron seemed to know. Ron kept patting him on the back.
But the moment Malfoy was gone, Harry and Ron went to see Hermione every single day.
At first she wouldn’t let them past the curtains. She’d talk to them through the cloth, in a small, flat voice that didn’t sound like Hermione at all, and when they asked how she was she said fine, and when they told her about the suits of armour she said that’s nice, and when Ron tried to tell her a joke about Snape she didn’t laugh. Harry had never heard her like it. Hermione was never quiet. Hermione always had something to say, about everything, usually at length, usually with a reference. Now there was just this little grey voice behind a curtain.
On the third day, she let them in.
The fur was starting to come out. It was patchy now, coming away in tufts, with bits of her ordinary face showing through, pink and sore-looking. Her ears had shrunk a little. Her eyes were still yellow. She was sitting up in bed with a book open on her lap that she obviously wasn’t reading, and when they came round the curtain she put both hands over her face.
‘Don’t look,’ she said, through her fingers. ‘Please don’t look at me.’
‘We’re not looking,’ said Ron at once, and looked very hard at the ceiling. ‘See? Ceiling. Lovely ceiling. Very... ceilingy.’
Harry sat down on the chair by the bed.
‘Hermione,’ he said. ‘It’s all right. Honestly. It’s just a bit of fur. It’s going.’
‘It’s not the fur.’ Hermione lowered her hands. Her yellow eyes were swimming. ‘It’s not the fur, Harry. It’s... I got it wrong. I got it completely, stupidly wrong, and I never get things wrong, I never do, and I didn’t even check. I didn’t check the hair. I just looked at it and thought that’s Millicent’s and put it in, because I was so sure, I was so sure, I’m always so sure about everything, and I was wrong. I was wrong about the hair. And I was wrong about...’ She stopped.
‘About what?’ said Harry gently.
Hermione looked down at her hands.
‘About all of it,’ she said, very quietly. ‘I’ve been lying here thinking. There’s nothing else to do in here but think. And I’ve been thinking about the potion, and why we made it, and... it wasn’t for Colin. Was it? Or Justin. Or Mrs Norris. I told myself it was. I told you it was. But it wasn’t, really. It was for her.’ She swallowed. ‘It was because it was Malfoy. Because I wanted it to be her. I wanted to catch her out. I wanted to prove... I wanted everyone to see what she was, and I wanted you to see it, Harry, and I made it all about her and me. I made it into something personal. And it shouldn’t have been. It should never have been about that. People are lying in this ward Petrified, and I was making a potion to win an argument.’
Neither Harry nor Ron said anything.
‘And I bullied you both into it,’ Hermione went on, in a very small voice. ‘I didn’t listen. You both said it could go wrong. You said. Harry, you said it so many times, and I just talked over you. I always talk over you. I always think I know best.’ She wiped her eyes on the back of her furry hand. ‘And now look at me. Look where knowing best got me.’
‘Hermione,’ said Ron. He’d stopped looking at the ceiling. His ears had gone red. ‘Hermione, listen. You made Polyjuice Potion. In a toilet. In your second year. That’s... that’s sixth-year stuff, that is, that’s N.E.W.T. stuff. You got one hair wrong. One. That’s not stupid. That’s... I couldn’t make that in a hundred years. Nobody else in our year could.’ He scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed. ‘And it was Millicent’s fault for having a cat. Anyway.’
Hermione gave a damp, startled little laugh.
‘And you didn’t bully us,’ said Harry. ‘Well. A bit. But we went along with it. We wanted to know too. It’s not all on you.’ He hesitated. ‘But... yeah. Maybe it did get a bit... much. With Malfoy.’
‘I know,’ said Hermione. ‘I know it did.’ She looked at him. ‘I’m sorry, Harry. I’ve been... I think I’ve been a lot. Lately. Haven’t I? With you. With everything.’
Harry thought about the quill. And the collar. And the three-in-the-morning muttering in the armchair. And the way she’d growled across the Potions dungeon.
‘A bit,’ he admitted.
‘I’m going to try,’ said Hermione, ‘to be less... a lot.’ She managed a small, wobbly smile. ‘I’m not promising I’ll manage it. But I’m going to try.’
‘You’re all right as you are,’ said Ron gruffly. ‘Mostly. Just a bit less... you know. Hissing.’
‘I don’t hiss.’
‘You growled at Malfoy in Potions,’ said Harry. ‘ Like a dog.’
Hermione put her face in her hands again. But this time Harry thought she might be laughing.
There was a flurry of rumours about Hermione’s disappearance when the rest of the school came back from the Christmas holidays. Of course everyone thought she’d been attacked. So many students filed past the hospital wing trying to catch a glimpse of her that Madam Pomfrey got out her curtains again and put them all the way round Hermione’s bed, to spare her the embarrassment of being seen with a furry face.
When term started, Ron had the idea of taking Hermione’s homework up to her, to cheer her up.
‘If I’d grown whiskers,’ said Ron, tipping a great heap of books onto Hermione’s bedside table one evening, ‘I’d take it as a sign to have a bit of time off.’
‘Don’t be daft, Ron. I can’t fall behind,’ said Hermione.
But she didn’t say it the way she would have said it before Christmas, briskly, with that little lift of the chin. She said it almost wryly, and she smiled at Ron as she said it, and she picked the top book off the pile and looked at it with real gratitude. She was in much better spirits now. All the fur had gone from her face, and her eyes were slowly fading back to brown.
‘Any luck?’ she added, in a whisper, so that Madam Pomfrey wouldn’t hear. ‘With anything?’
‘Not a thing,’ said Harry gloomily.
‘I was so sure it was Malfoy,’ said Ron, for about the hundredth time since Christmas. ‘I’d have bet my wand on it. Well. Somebody else’s wand.’
Hermione didn’t say anything to that at all. A few weeks ago she’d have had plenty to say. Now she just looked down at the blanket, and Harry thought she looked a little ashamed.
‘What’s that?’ asked Harry, pointing. Something gold was sticking up out of the wastepaper basket next to her bed.
‘Nothing. Just a card,’ said Hermione quickly, trying to poke it out of sight. But Ron was too fast for her. He snatched it out of the bin, flipped it open, and read it out in a high, gushing voice.
‘To dear Miss Granger, with every good wish for a swift and complete recovery, from your devoted teacher, Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin (Third Class), Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-times winner of Witch Weekly‘s Most Charming Smile Award.‘
He looked at Hermione over the top of it, eyebrows raised.
‘I’ve decided I don’t like Lockhart anymore. I think he’s lying about a great many things.’ said Hermione, in a huff.
She sat up straighter against her pillows. She was just drawing breath to explain, in detail, exactly what he was lying about, starting with the Master and working her way through the whole of Year with the Yeti, when Madam Pomfrey came bustling in with her evening medicine and shooed Harry and Ron out.
‘Is Lockhart the slimiest git you’ve ever met, or what?’ said Ron, as they left the hospital wing and started up the stairs towards Gryffindor Tower. ‘Devoted teacher. Ugh. I’m going to need a bath.’
Snape had given them so much homework that Harry thought he’d probably be in the sixth year before he finished it. Ron was just saying that he wished he’d asked Hermione how many rat tails went into a Hair-Raising Potion when an angry outburst from the floor above them made them both stop.
‘That’s Filch,’ Harry muttered.
They crept up the stairs and stopped, out of sight, listening hard.
‘You don’t think somebody else has been...’ Ron began, in a whisper.
They stood very still, with their heads cocked towards Filch’s voice. It sounded nearly hysterical.
‘...as if I hadn’t got enough to do! As if I hadn’t been up half the night already! Mopping, mopping, mopping, morning, noon and night! No. No. That’s it. I’ve had it. I’m going to the Headmaster...’
Footsteps stamped away. A door slammed somewhere in the distance.
They put their heads round the corner. Filch had obviously been keeping his usual watch: they were back on the very spot where Mrs Norris had been attacked. And they could see at once what had set him off. A great flood of water had spread over half the corridor, and it seemed to be still seeping out from under the door of Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. Now that Filch had stopped shouting, they could hear Myrtle, wailing away inside, her howls bouncing off the tiled walls.
‘What’s wrong with her now?’ said Ron.
‘Come on. Let’s find out,’ said Harry.
Holding their robes up out of the wet, they splashed through the flood to the door with the Out of Order sign, ignored it, as usual, and went in.
Moaning Myrtle was crying even louder and harder than usual, which Harry wouldn’t have thought possible. She seemed to be hiding down the U-bend of her favourite toilet. The bathroom was dark. Every candle had been put out by the deluge, and the walls and floor were dripping.
‘Myrtle?’ said Harry. ‘What’s happened?’
‘Who’s that?’ gurgled Myrtle miserably from somewhere inside the plumbing. ‘Come to throw something else at me, have you?’
Harry waded over to her cubicle.
‘Why would I want to throw anything at you?’
‘Don’t ask me,’ Myrtle shouted, emerging with a wave of yet more water, which splashed onto the already sopping floor. ‘Here I am, minding my own business, and someone thinks it’s funny to throw their quills and whatever else they have on hand. She was screaming at me too. How dreadful.’
‘Myrtle, love.’
Myrtle perked up at that, immediately and alarmingly, which made Harry wince. She came floating up out of the toilet bowl and fluttered her eyelashes at him through her thick spectacles. He tried to adopt a soothing sort of tone.
‘Look, I know it’s not nice to have things thrown at you but it’s not like anything hurts you. It just goes straight through you, right?’
Myrtle crossed her arms and pouted.
‘It’s the principle of it, Harry!’ Myrtle moaned. ‘All these nasty, horrible people think they can just throw what they like at me. But THIS one was particularly horrid.’
‘Who was it?’ said Harry. ‘A girl, you said?’
‘Oh, yes,’ said Myrtle, with relish. She drifted round in a slow circle above the toilet, dripping. ‘A girl. A posh girl. You could tell she was posh. She had that voice. All snooty, like she owned the place. And her hair.’ Myrtle sniffed. ‘I hated her hair. Long and straight and shiny, the way mine never would go, no matter what I did with it. I hated her the minute I saw her.’ She narrowed her eyes. ‘But she was mad, Harry. Completely mad. Madder than Peeves. She came crashing in here in the middle of the night and she started searching. On her hands and knees. Under the cubicles. Behind the pipes. All over the floor, as if she’d dropped something tiny. And talking to herself the whole time.’
‘What was she saying?’
‘Oh, all sorts.’ Myrtle put on a high, wheedling, sing-song sort of voice, and Harry felt the hair go up on the back of his neck. ‘Where is it, where is it, it came here, I came here, I remember coming here... it must be here, it must, it must... it’s mine, it’s mine, they took it, filthy thieves...’ Myrtle dropped the voice. ‘Over and over, like that. Talking to herself the whole time, as if there was somebody else in here she was arguing with. And then she went over to the sinks.’
Harry went very still.
‘The sinks?’
‘The sinks.’ Myrtle pointed. ‘She stood there in front of them for ages. Just looking at them. Running her hands all over them. Over the taps. As if she was looking for something. And she was whispering, but I couldn’t hear what. Something funny. It didn’t even sound like words.’ Myrtle shivered. ‘And then she turned round and saw me and asked me where it was. Where what was, I said. I didn’t know what she was talking about! And she screamed at me. She threw her whole bloody bag at my head, and her quills, and her ink, and then she ran away crying and left the taps running.’ Myrtle’s lip trembled. ‘Nobody ever comes to see me, you know, and when they do, they’re horrible.’
‘She sounds horrible,’ said Harry slowly. He was looking at the sinks.
‘What did she look like, then?’ said Ron. ‘This posh girl? What colour was her...’
‘Why should I tell you?’ said Myrtle at once, rounding on him. ‘You haven’t even said hello. You never say hello. You come in here and splash about and you don’t even ask how I am...’
‘Hello, Myrtle,’ said Ron, through gritted teeth. ‘How are you? Lovely to see you. Now, what colour was her...’
‘Oh, now he says hello! Now that he wants something!’
‘I said hello, didn’t I? What more d’you want, a card?’
‘A card would be nice!’ Myrtle wailed. ‘Nobody ever sends me a card! I’ve been dead fifty years and not one card!’
‘Well, how am I supposed to know that? How’s anyone supposed to post a card to a toilet...’
‘Ron,’ said Harry.
‘What?’
‘You’re arguing with a ghost in a girls’ toilet.’ Harry folded his arms. ‘Just thought you’d want to know. In case you were wondering how your evening was going.’
‘OUT!‘ shrieked Myrtle. She swelled up to twice her size and her spectacles flashed. ‘Out, out, out, both of you! You’re just as bad as she was! Inconsiderate! Selfish! Rude! Nobody cares about poor Myrtle, nobody ever has, nobody ever will!’
And she dived headfirst back down her toilet with a great splash that soaked them both to the knees.
‘Mental,’ said Ron, as they squelched back out into the corridor. He was wringing out the bottom of his robes. ‘Completely and utterly mental, that one. She’s nearly as mad as...’
He stopped.
‘As who?’ said Harry.
‘Nobody,’ said Ron. ‘Nobody. Come on. I’m freezing.’
Harry looked at him. Ron didn’t look back. He’d been doing that a lot lately. He’d been watching Malfoy, Harry had noticed, ever since she came out of the hospital wing. Watching her across the Great Hall, and in Potions, and in the corridors, with his forehead creased up. Malfoy had come back from the hospital wing quieter, and thinner, and stranger. She didn’t hiss at Harry in the corridors any more. She didn’t do much of anything. She sat at the end of the Slytherin table and pushed her food round her plate and stared at nothing, and every so often her hand went to the front of her robes, and pressed there, found nothing, and came away again. And Ron watched her do it. He never said anything. But Harry could see him adding it all up.
They went back to Gryffindor Tower, changed their socks, and settled down by the fire for a game of wizard chess.
Harry was losing, as usual. His knight had just been dragged off the board by one of Ron’s castles, and his queen was looking at him with an expression of deep reproach, when he felt it again.
The tug. The hook in his chest. Pulling him upstairs. To his bed, where he’d moved the diary a few days ago, out of his trunk and into the space underneath, wrapped up in an old jumper, so that he could get at it more easily.
Just for a minute.
‘I’ve, er, just remembered,’ Harry said. ‘I’ve got to finish that Potions essay. The one on Hair-Raising Potion. I’ll be back in a bit.’
Ron looked up from the board.
‘You,’ he said slowly, ‘want to go and do your Potions homework. Now. On a Friday night. In the middle of a game.’
‘Yeah.’
‘You hate Potions homework.’
‘I hate it more when it’s late.’
Ron’s eyes narrowed. But he didn’t say anything. He just looked at Harry for a long moment, and then looked back down at the board, and moved a bishop.
Harry went upstairs.
The dormitory was empty. He knelt by his bed, and reached underneath it, and pulled out the old jumper, and unwrapped it. There was the diary. He sat back on his heels with it in his hands and felt, at once, that odd warm settling feeling, like coming in out of the cold. He reached for his quill. He opened the book.
‘I knew it.’
Ron was standing in the doorway.
Before Harry could move, Ron had crossed the dormitory in three strides and pulled the diary straight out of his hands.
‘Hey!’ Harry was on his feet. Something hot and furious had come up inside him, out of nowhere, so fast it frightened him. ‘Give it back, Ron! That’s mine! Give it back!’
Ron looked at him. He looked at Harry’s face, and his outstretched hand, and something went over his own face that might have been worry, or might have been fear.
He held the diary out. Harry snatched it.
‘All right,’ said Ron quietly. ‘All right, mate. Calm down. Here.’
Harry held the diary against his chest. His heart was hammering. He felt suddenly ashamed of himself, and didn’t know why.
‘Sorry,’ he muttered. ‘Sorry. I don’t know why I...’
‘Harry.’ Ron sat down on the end of his own bed, facing him. ‘Listen. Dad used to deal with this sort of thing all the time. At work. Cursed books, bewitched books. There was one that sang you lullabies till you dropped off and never woke up. There was one that ate a bloke’s fingers, one at a time, while he was turning the pages. Dad said the worst ones aren’t the ones that bite. They’re the ones you like. The ones you can’t put down.’ He nodded at the diary. ‘You’ve got to be careful with that thing, mate. Really careful. You saw what it did to Malfoy. It sent her round the twist. And you just went for me like... like...’
He didn’t finish. He didn’t need to. Like her, Harry thought. Like she did in the Great Hall.
He looked down at the diary in his hands, and turned it over, and looked again at the faded gold letters on the back.
- M. Riddle.
Tom Riddle. They’d known that much since Christmas night.
‘Hang on,’ said Ron. He’d come over, warily, and was looking over Harry’s shoulder. ‘Hang on. That name. It’s been bugging me since Christmas and I’ve only just got it. Riddle. I know where I’ve seen it. He got an award. A special award, for services to the school. Fifty years back.’
Harry stared at him.
‘How on earth do you know that?’
‘Because Filch had me polishing his shield for about a hundred years, that’s how,’ said Ron bitterly. ‘In detention. When I was being sick. It was the one I chucked up slugs all over. You spend an hour scrubbing slug slime out of somebody’s name, mate, you don’t forget it in a hurry.’
Harry opened the diary at the back. On the inside of the back cover, in tiny printed letters, was the name of a newsagent’s, on Vauxhall Road, in London.
‘He must have been Muggle-born, then,’ said Harry slowly. ‘To have bought it there. On Vauxhall Road. That’s a Muggle shop. That’s a Muggle street.’
‘Well, it’s not much use to us right now, is it?’ said Ron. He was still looking at the diary, not at Harry. ‘Harry. I think if it’s dangerous, we should take it to Dumbledore. I mean it. Let him sort it out.’
Harry nodded slowly.
‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Yeah. Maybe.’
Ron reached out and gave his shoulder a squeeze.
‘Come on back down, then. I was about to have your king. I’m not letting you off just because you’ve got a creepy book.’
He went off down the stairs.
Harry stayed where he was, sitting on his bed with the diary in his lap, looking at the name on the back.
Tom Riddle. Who had he been? Why had he been given an award? Why did Dracina talk to his diary as though he were still somewhere inside it, like a friend, and scream for it like it was the most precious thing in the world? Was it really dangerous? Was Ron right?
‘HARRY!‘ Ron yelled up the stairs. ‘Your move!‘
Harry looked at the diary a moment longer. Then he wrapped it back up in the old jumper and pushed it back under his bed, into the dark, for later. He’d look into it properly another time. On his own.
He didn’t notice that he’d already decided not to take it to Dumbledore. He didn’t notice that the decision had been made somewhere inside him without him ever being asked. He only knew that he felt a great deal calmer once the diary was safely back where he could get at it.
He went down to lose at chess.
Hermione came out of the hospital wing, whiskerless, tailless and entirely free of fur, at the beginning of February.
She was different. Harry noticed it at once, and so did Ron, though neither of them said so for a while. It wasn’t anything big. She still carried far too many books. She still did all her homework the night it was set. She still knew the answer to everything. But in her first Transfiguration lesson back, when Professor McGonagall asked the class about the difference between a Vanishing Spell and a Banishing one, Hermione’s hand went up, the way it always did, quick as a reflex. And then, halfway up, it stopped. And came down again. And Neville, who’d been sitting there for once with his mouth half open as though he actually knew, put his own hand up, very slowly, and gave the right answer, and went pink to his ears when Professor McGonagall said Quite right, Mr Longbottom, five points.
Hermione looked over at Neville and smiled. She looked pleased. She looked as pleased as if she’d got the five points herself.
‘Since when,’ Ron whispered to Harry, ‘does Hermione not answer a question?’
Harry didn’t know. But he thought he liked it.
She was different with him, too. She still sat next to him. She still checked his homework, if he asked. But she didn’t fuss with his collar any more, or move his goblet nearer his hand, or watch him all the way across the Great Hall. She’d stopped growling at people. When Malfoy drifted past the Gryffindor table, grey-faced and silent, Hermione still went a bit stiff, and her eyes still followed her, but she didn’t say anything. She just went back to her book. It was as though somebody had loosened something that had been wound much too tight inside her, and Harry, who had never really noticed how tight it had been until it wasn’t any more, found he could breathe a bit easier around her.
On her first evening back in Gryffindor Tower, Harry showed her T. M. Riddle’s diary, and told her how they’d come by it. Most of how they’d come by it.
‘Oh, it might have hidden powers,’ said Hermione eagerly. She took the diary, and turned it over, and peered at it closely. ‘Lots of old books do. Some of them only open at certain times. Or for certain people.’
‘Well, if it has, it’s hiding them brilliantly,’ said Ron. ‘Maybe it’s just shy. Why don’t you chuck it, Harry? Honestly. Bin it.’
Harry looked at the diary in Hermione’s hands. He found he didn’t like seeing it there. He wanted to take it back.
‘It’s important somehow. Precious even...’ Harry said.
He heard himself say it. It came out in an odd, slow voice, and he didn’t know where the word precious had come from. Then he remembered. It was the word Dracina had kept using. In the Great Hall, screaming. Mine. My precious.
He cleared his throat.
‘I need to know how it relates to the Chamber. It has something to do with it.’
He stared at the diary for a moment longer.
‘And I’d quite like to know what Riddle did to get an award for special services to the school, as well,’ he added.
‘Could’ve been anything,’ said Ron. ‘Maybe he got thirty O.W.L.s. Maybe he rescued a teacher from the giant squid. Maybe he did Myrtle in. That’d count as a service to the school, that would. Everyone would’ve chipped in for a trophy.’
But Harry could see from the sudden, frozen look on Hermione’s face that she was thinking exactly what he was thinking.
‘What?’ said Ron, looking from one of them to the other.
‘Well,’ said Harry, ‘the Chamber of Secrets was opened fifty years ago. Malfoy said so. And we’ve known since Christmas that this diary’s fifty years old.’
‘Yeah,’ said Ron. ‘We’ve been over that. So?’
‘And T. M. Riddle,’ said Hermione, tapping the cover, ‘got his special award fifty years ago, too.’
‘So?’
‘Oh, Ron,’ said Hermione. But she didn’t snap it, the way she would have done before Christmas. She said it almost fondly. ‘Think. Whoever opened the Chamber last time got expelled, fifty years ago. And T. M. Riddle got a special award for services to the school, fifty years ago. So what if that’s what he got it for? For catching the heir of Slytherin? Then his diary might tell us everything. Where the Chamber is, and how you get in, and what’s down there. And whoever’s behind it this time wouldn’t want a thing like that just lying about, would they?’
‘Brilliant,’ said Ron. ‘Really brilliant. Only there’s one small problem with it, isn’t there? There’s nothing in it.’
Harry looked down.
He hadn’t told them. He hadn’t told either of them that the diary had written back to him. That it had said hello, and known his name, and asked him about what was underneath. They didn’t know. And for some reason, a reason he couldn’t have put into words, Harry felt quite strongly that he shouldn’t tell them. Not yet.
But Hermione was already pulling her wand out of her bag.
‘It might be in invisible ink!’ she whispered.
She tapped the diary three times and said, ‘Aparecium!‘
Nothing happened. Not a mark.
Undeterred, Hermione dug in her bag again and came out with what looked like a bright red rubber.
‘It’s a Revealer,’ she said. ‘I got it in Diagon Alley.’
She rubbed it hard on the page for the first of January. Nothing happened. She tried the first of February. Nothing. She tried the inside front cover and the inside back cover and the page for her own birthday, and nothing happened at all.
‘Maybe the diary is just empty. You saw how Malfoy was,’ said Ron. ‘Maybe she’s just gone mental and thought the diary was more important than it was.’
Hermione put the Revealer away. She didn’t argue. A few weeks ago, Harry thought, she’d have argued for an hour. Now she only looked at the diary, and sighed, and handed it back to him.
‘Maybe,’ she said quietly. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know everything. I’m learning that.’
Harry took the diary back. His fingers closed round it, and he felt better at once.
He knew the truth. He knew it wasn’t empty. Dracina had talked about Tom. Tom Riddle, whose name was on the back of this very book. She’d talked about him as though he were a person, as though he were somebody she spoke to. And when Harry had written in the diary, it had written back. He’d have to find out more, and soon. He needed to get back to the diary. But he had to do it without Ron and Hermione finding out. Why? He didn’t know why. He was just sure of it. He was as sure of it as he was of his own name.
Harry couldn’t have explained, even to himself, why he didn’t just throw Riddle’s diary away.
The fact was that even though it looked blank, he kept picking it up without thinking, and turning the pages, as though it were a story he wanted to get to the end of. And although Harry was quite certain he’d never heard of Tom Riddle before Christmas night, it seemed to mean something to him all the same. It was almost as though Riddle had been a friend of his once, a long time ago, when he was very small, and he’d half forgotten him. Which was absurd. He’d never had a friend before Hogwarts. Dudley had made very sure of that.
All the same, Harry was determined to find out more about Riddle. So the next day at break he went down to the trophy room to look at Riddle’s special award, with an interested Hermione and a deeply unwilling Ron, who said he’d seen enough of the trophy room to last him the rest of his life and probably the one after.
Riddle’s shield was tucked away at the back of a corner cabinet, gold, and very well polished. It didn’t say why it had been given to him.
‘Good job, too,’ said Ron. ‘Or it’d be twice the size and I’d still be in here scrubbing it.’
But they did find Riddle’s name on an old Medal for Magical Merit, and on a list of former Head Boys.
‘Sounds like Percy,’ said Ron, wrinkling up his nose. ‘Prefect, Head Boy... probably top of every class. Massive stick up his bum.’
‘Is that meant to be an insult?’ said Hermione, sounding slightly wounded. Then, after a moment, she gave a small, rueful laugh. ‘No. You’re right. I know. I’m working on it.’
Ron grinned at her.
The sun had begun to shine again, weakly, over Hogwarts, and inside the castle the mood had grown a little more hopeful. There’d been no more attacks since Justin and Nearly Headless Nick, and Madam Pomfrey was pleased to report that the Mandrakes were becoming sulky and secretive, which meant they were leaving their childhood behind them.
‘Once their spots clear up, they’ll be ready to be moved into bigger pots,’ Harry heard her telling Filch one afternoon, quite kindly. ‘And after that, it’s not long at all till we chop them up and stew them. You’ll have Mrs Norris back before you know it, Argus.’
Perhaps the heir of Slytherin had lost his nerve, Harry thought. Or her nerve. It must be getting harder and harder to open the Chamber, with the whole school on the alert. Perhaps the monster, whatever it was, was curling up somewhere at that very moment to sleep for another fifty years...
Ernie Macmillan didn’t see it that way. He was still quite convinced that Harry was the culprit, and that he’d given himself away at the Duelling Club, and he told anyone who’d listen.
‘Ernie Macmillan,’ said Harry, loudly, in the corridor outside Herbology, when Ernie had said it once too often within earshot, ‘is giving himself away as a complete plonker. Somebody might want to tell him.’
Seamus snorted. Ernie went bright red and walked off very fast.
Peeves wasn’t helping matters. He kept popping up in crowded corridors singing Oh Potter, the plotter, and he’d worked out a dance to go with it now, which involved a great deal of high kicking and a final bow.
And Gilderoy Lockhart seemed to be under the impression that he’d stopped the attacks himself. Harry overheard him telling Professor McGonagall so while the Gryffindors were lining up outside Transfiguration.
‘I really don’t think we’ll be having any more bother, Minerva,’ he said, tapping the side of his nose and winking. ‘I rather think the Chamber’s been shut for good this time. The culprit must have known I was on to them. It was only a matter of time before I had them. Very wise of them to call it a day before I came down on them like a ton of bricks.’
Professor McGonagall said nothing whatever. Her nostrils had gone very thin as she thought about what she did to that charming MI6 agent who so brazenly lied to her face for the last and very final time.
‘Do you know what the school needs now?’ Lockhart went on. ‘A lift! Something to blow away the cobwebs! A morale-booster, Minerva! I won’t say any more just now, but I’ve got just the thing...’
He tapped his nose once more, and strode off down the corridor.
Professor McGonagall watched him go. Then, very quietly, so quietly that Harry only just heard it, she said something under her breath in a language he didn’t recognise. It sounded Russian. It did not sound like a compliment.
What Lockhart meant by a morale-booster became horribly clear at breakfast on the fourteenth of February.
Harry hadn’t had much sleep, because Wood had kept them out practising until gone ten the night before, and he got down to the Great Hall a bit late. For a moment he thought he’d come in through the wrong doors.
Every wall was covered in enormous, garish pink flowers. Worse, heart-shaped confetti was drifting down from the pale blue ceiling, settling in the porridge and the marmalade and people’s hair. Harry went over to the Gryffindor table, where Ron was sitting looking as though he might be sick, and Hermione seemed to have come over a bit giggly.
‘What’s happening?’ Harry asked, sitting down and brushing confetti off his bacon.
Ron pointed at the staff table. He seemed too revolted to speak.
Lockhart was on his feet, in robes of luminous pink to match the decorations, waving his arms for quiet. The teachers on either side of him had faces like stone. Professor McGonagall had a little muscle going in her cheek. Snape looked as though someone had just made him drink a pint of Skele-Gro.
‘A very happy Valentine’s Day to you all!’ Lockhart cried. ‘And a special thank-you to the forty-six of you who’ve already sent me cards! Yes! I’ve arranged a little surprise for all of you, to brighten up the place, and believe me, it’s only the start!’
He clapped his hands. The doors from the Entrance Hall swung open, and in tramped a dozen very sour-looking dwarfs. They were wearing golden wings, and carrying little golden harps, and every single one of them looked as though they’d like to hit somebody with theirs.
‘My delightful, card-carrying cupids!’ beamed Lockhart. ‘All day long, they’ll be scurrying about the school delivering your Valentines! And that’s not all! I’m quite sure my colleagues will be only too pleased to join in! Why not pop along and ask Professor Snape how to mix up a Love Potion? Or Professor Flitwick! He knows more about Entrancing Enchantments than any wizard alive, the wicked old rascal!’
Professor Flitwick put his face in his hands. Snape looked as though the first student to ask him about Love Potions would be made to drink something very different.
And then Lockhart did something that Harry didn’t notice at the time, but remembered later. He looked down the Hall. He looked at the Gryffindor table, and found Harry. Then he looked across at the Slytherin table, at a thin, pale, silent girl sitting by herself at the very end of it. And he gave a great, broad, knowing wink, first to one, then to the other, and tapped the side of his nose.
‘Young love!‘ he mouthed, at nobody in particular, and beamed.
‘Please, Hermione,’ said Ron, as they left the Great Hall for their first lesson, ‘tell me you weren’t one of the forty-six.’
Hermione suddenly became very interested in searching her bag for her timetable.
‘I sent it before Christmas,’ she muttered at last, very pink. ‘Before I... before. The owl must have held on to it. I’d ask for it back, if I could.’
Ron let out a howl of laughter. Hermione hit him with her timetable. But she was laughing too.
All day long the dwarfs kept barging into lessons to deliver Valentines, which drove the teachers wild. And late in the afternoon, as the Gryffindors were going up the stairs to Charms, one of them caught up with Harry.
‘Oi! You! ‘Arry Potter!‘ bawled a particularly grim-faced dwarf, shoving people out of the way to get to him.
Harry went hot all over. There was a whole queue of first-years on the stairs, and Ginny Weasley was in it. He tried to get away. But the dwarf cut a path through the crowd by kicking everybody in the shins, and got to him before he’d gone two steps.
‘Got a musical message for ‘Arry Potter,’ he said, twanging his harp in a menacing sort of way. ‘In person. Special delivery. Professor’s orders. Says he’s taken a personal interest.’
‘Not here,’ Harry hissed, and tried to dodge round him.
‘Hold still!‘ grunted the dwarf, and grabbed Harry’s bag, and hauled him back.
‘Get off!’ Harry snarled, pulling.
There was a loud ripping noise, and his bag split clean in half. His books and wand and parchment and quill spilled out all over the floor, and his ink bottle smashed and splattered over the lot of them. Harry scrambled about trying to pick it all up before the dwarf could start singing, causing quite a jam on the stairs.
‘And what’s all this?’
It was a cold, drawling voice. Harry knew it at once. Dracina Malfoy was standing a few steps above him, with Crabbe and Goyle behind her, looking down at the mess.
Harry didn’t look at her. He wasn’t speaking to her. He hadn’t spoken to her since the hospital wing, and he had no intention of starting now. He started shoving everything into the remains of his bag as fast as he could, desperate to get away before Malfoy could hear whatever the dwarf was about to sing.
‘What’s all this commotion?’ said another familiar voice, and Percy Weasley arrived on the scene.
Harry lost his head completely. He tried to make a run for it. But the dwarf threw his arms round Harry’s knees and brought him crashing down on the stone.
‘Right,’ said the dwarf, sitting on Harry’s ankles. ‘Here’s your singing Valentine.’
He cleared his throat. He twanged his harp. And then, to Harry’s horror, in a surprisingly sweet, surprisingly deep, surprisingly tuneful voice, he began to sing.
‘There’s a boy with eyes like the first green of spring,
Who flies like the wind and who fears not a thing;
They locked him away and they taught him not to sing,
But he rose from the dark like a lark on the wing.
Oh, his heart is a lantern that burns in the cold,
And he stands in the gap when the night’s growing old,
And there’s one who has watched him since autumn first fell,
Who has noticed him, always, and knows him too well.
So be brave, little knight, though you don’t know her name,
She is silver and stubborn and wild as a flame,
And should any try taking you, or turn you away,
She would pull down the stars and the stones where they lay.
She will wait at her window. She’ll wait till you’re grown.
She will wait till the world has gone quiet as stone.
And she’ll hold you so close you’ll forget you were free,
When you climb up the tower, and finally see.’
The last note hung in the air. The dwarf put down his harp.
There was a silence on the staircase. It was a very strange silence. Several of the first-years seemed to have been genuinely moved. One girl was dabbing her eyes. But most people were trying very hard not to laugh, and failing, and the harder they tried the worse it got, until the whole staircase was shaking with sniggers.
Harry lay on the floor with a dwarf on his ankles and wanted to die. He wanted the stone to open up and swallow him. He’d never been so humiliated in his whole life, and that was counting Aunt Marge.
And then Ron, who’d been holding it in heroically, gave up.
‘Who,’ he gasped, clutching the banister, with tears pouring down his face, ‘who in their right mind wrote that? "Pull down the stars"? "Forget you were free"? That’s mental, that is! That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard! Who writes rubbish like that?’
Harry happened to be looking up at Malfoy when Ron said it.
He saw her face. All the colour had come up into it, right up into her hair. Her eyes were very bright. She’d been standing quite still through the whole song, Harry realised, with her hands clasped in front of her, watching him. Watching his face. And whatever she’d been hoping to see there, she hadn’t seen it. Now she turned on Ron like a snake striking.
‘You,’ she spat. ‘You... you ginger-nut biscuit, freckled, hand-me-down charity case! What would you know about anything? You couldn’t write your own name without your mummy holding the quill! You couldn’t tell a poem from a shopping list! You’ve got the brains of a Flobberworm and the manners of a gnome and you smell like that pigsty you call a house!’
‘Oi!‘ said Ron, sobering up very fast.
‘Leave him alone, Malfoy!’ Harry was struggling up, kicking the dwarf off his feet.
‘Oh, now he speaks!’ Malfoy rounded on him. ‘Now he’s got something to say! Weeks, Potter! Weeks, and not one word, and the first thing you say is to stick up for Weasley! And you just lay there! You lay there on the floor the whole time with a face like you’d swallowed a slug! Didn’t you even listen? Did you even hear it?’
‘Hear it? The whole castle heard it! Who sends someone a thing like that in front of everyone? Whoever it was must be off their head!’
Malfoy flinched as if he’d slapped her.
‘Off their head?’ Her voice went up to a shriek. ‘How dare... you ungrateful, blind, stupid, stupid...’
‘Enough!‘ said Percy, pushing his way between them. ‘That’s quite enough, the pair of you. Off you go, everybody, off you go, the bell went five minutes ago, move along, to your lessons, now.’ He began shooing the younger ones away up the stairs, some of whom were still crying with laughter. ‘And you, Malfoy.’
Harry, glancing round, saw Malfoy stoop and snatch something up off the floor. She held it up to Crabbe and Goyle with a nasty little smirk, about to say something about it. And Harry realised, with a lurch of his stomach, that it was Riddle’s diary.
It had fallen out of his bag with everything else.
‘Put that down,’ said Harry quietly.
And time seemed to slow.
Malfoy didn’t look at the diary at first. She was looking at Harry, smirking, waiting for him to beg. Then her eyes dropped, idly, to what she was holding. And Harry saw the moment she understood.
Her eyes went wide. Wider than he’d ever seen them. All the colour that had come into her face during the song drained out of it again, all at once, leaving it as white as paper. Her fingers closed on the diary. Her lips parted. She drew it slowly, slowly towards her chest, the way you’d draw in something you’d lost in deep water and never thought you’d see again, and Harry saw her whole body begin to tremble, and heard her breathe out a single word, so softly it was hardly a sound at all.
‘Mine...’
Then Percy plucked it neatly out of her hands.
‘He told you to give it back, Ms Malfoy’ said Percy, with a very small, very satisfied smile.
He handed it to Harry. Harry could see exactly what Percy was doing. He was getting his own back, for the dungeon corridor at Christmas, for Peter, for did your whole family club together for it. But Percy honestly thought it was just a schoolbook of Harry’s that Malfoy was trying to pinch out of spite. He had no idea what he’d done.
Malfoy made a noise.
It wasn’t a word. It was a sort of high, thin, keening sound, like a kettle just before it boils, and her hands came up, the fingers bent and clawed, and she took a step towards Harry, and then another, and her eyes were fixed on the diary in his hands with a look that wasn’t quite human. Harry took a step back without meaning to. Ron stepped in front of him. Malfoy’s lips were drawn right back from her teeth, and she was breathing in short, sharp hisses, and Harry thought quite clearly, she’s going to go for me, she’s going to go for my throat...
‘Oi! Another one for ‘Arry Potter!’
A second dwarf came barrelling up the stairs, shoving Crabbe out of the way with his harp. He planted himself in front of Harry, scowling, and struck up before anyone could stop him. He had a much worse voice than the first one, and he sang this one twice as loud.
‘His hair is as black as a raven at night,
And his eyes are as green as a frog in the light,
He’s ever so brave and he’s ever so kind,
And he once caught the Snitch with his arm on behind.
I wish I was clever, I wish I was tall,
I wish he would see me at all, at all,
He beat You-Know-Who when he wasn’t but small,
And he’s the best wizard and seeker of all.’
There was a short silence.
Harry looked over at the queue of first-years. Right at the back, Ginny Weasley had gone so red that she was practically glowing. She had both hands over her mouth.
And Malfoy saw her too.
Her head snapped round. Her eyes found Ginny, small and scarlet and shrinking at the back of the queue. And all the wild, clawing, unhinged fury that had been building up in her and pointing at Harry swung round, all at once, and landed on Ginny instead.
‘You,’ Malfoy breathed.
Ginny took a step back.
‘That one was yours, wasn’t it?’ Malfoy’s voice was rising. ‘Wasn’t it? I knew it. I knew it the moment he opened his mouth. It couldn’t be anyone else’s. If it was Granger’s it would at least have been clever. It would at least have wit. Granger would never write something that stupid. Frog in the light? With his arm on behind? That’s not a poem, that’s the scribble of a stupid, silly, pathetic little girl! Is that what you think he wants? Is that what you think he’s for? You think he’d ever look twice at a snivelling little Weasley nobody who can’t even rhyme...’
Ginny burst into tears. She turned and pushed her way through the first-years and ran, sobbing, up the stairs and away round the corner towards her classroom.
Harry and Ron both started forward at the same moment. But Percy got there first. He had gone a dangerous colour.
‘Malfoy,’ he said, in a very quiet, very cold voice that Harry had never heard him use before. ‘You will go to your lesson. Now. Or I will take you there myself, by the ear, and I will tell Professor Snape exactly why. Move.’
For a moment Malfoy didn’t move. She stood on the stairs staring at the diary in Harry’s hands, her chest heaving. Then Crabbe tugged her sleeve, and she shook him off, and turned, and went. But she looked back over her shoulder all the way down the stairs. Not at Harry. At the diary.
‘Mum always told me,’ said Ron, through his teeth, watching her go, ‘never to hit a girl. Never ever. She said a gentleman wizard never does, no matter what.’ His fists were clenched. His ears were scarlet. ‘But Malfoy makes it bloody hard, Harry. She makes it bloody hard. After what she just said to Ginny...’
Hermione had come up beside them. She’d seen the whole thing from further down the stairs. And Harry saw her face change as she watched Malfoy go. He saw it go smooth and still, the way it used to go, like a lake with something very large underneath. He saw her open her mouth. And he knew, somehow, that what was about to come out of it was going to be something cold and quiet and frightening, the kind of thing she’d said before Christmas over a cauldron in a toilet.
Then she closed her mouth again.
She took a breath. Her face relaxed. And when she spoke, it was in her ordinary voice.
‘What she said to Ginny was wrong,’ Hermione said. ‘And what she said to you, Ron. And to Harry. It wasn’t on. It just wasn’t. Somebody ought to go after Ginny.’ She hitched up her bag. ‘I’ll go. I’ll tell Professor Flitwick you’ll be along in a minute.’
She went off up the stairs after Ginny. Harry stared after her.
‘Did she just...’ said Ron.
‘Yeah,’ said Harry. ‘I think she did.’
It wasn’t until they’d got to Professor Flitwick’s class that Harry noticed something very odd about Riddle’s diary.
All his other books were soaked in scarlet ink. Every one. The pages were stuck together and dripping. But the diary was perfectly clean. Not a spot. Not a drop. It was as spotless as it had been before the ink bottle smashed all over it.
He tried to show Ron. But Ron was having trouble with his wand again. Great purple bubbles were blossoming out of the end of it and floating off round the classroom, and he wasn’t much interested in anything else.
Harry went to bed before anyone else in his dormitory that night. Partly this was because he didn’t think he could stand to hear Fred and George singing His hair is as black as a raven at night one more time. And partly it was because he wanted to look at Riddle’s diary again, and he knew Ron thought he was wasting his time.
He drew the curtains round his four-poster. He sat on his bed and flicked through the blank pages. Not one of them had a trace of scarlet ink on it. Then he took a new bottle of ink out of his bedside cabinet, and dipped his quill, and let a single blot fall onto the first page.
The ink shone on the paper for a second. Then, as though the page were drinking it, it vanished.
Harry’s heart was beating fast. He loaded his quill again, and wrote:
You know my name is Harry Potter.
He paused. He’d known whose diary this was since Christmas night, sitting by the dying fire with Ron, looking at the gold letters on the back. It was time he said so.
He wrote:
Tom Riddle, I presume.
The ink faded into the page. And in its place, new words rose up out of the paper, in that same neat, sloping hand.
Well done, Harry. That’s very clever of you. Just as she said.
Harry wrote again.
Dracina?
Oh yes, she goes on and on about how clever you are Harry. As I said, she talks about you all the time. Every other sentence is about you. Your demeanour, how you speak to her, your appearance, and a great many other things.
Harry already knew that Malfoy seethed over him constantly. He’d heard as much from Lucius Malfoy himself, muttering in Borgin and Burkes about the cursed Potter boy, and he’d heard it again from Dracina’s own mouth on Christmas night, when she’d moaned about him the whole way to the Slytherin common room to what she thought were Crabbe and Goyle.
She hates me, he wrote. I know that. She’s made that very clear.
The reply took a little longer, this time. When it came, it seemed to Harry to have something almost like amusement in it.
Does she? I wonder. You know, Harry, I have read a great many pages about you. I could tell you, if you wished, precisely which way your hair sticks up at the back, and on which days it is worse. I could tell you how many seconds you looked at her in the Charms corridor on the ninth of December. I could tell you the exact colour of your eyes in candlelight, according to her, and I assure you she has a great many words for it. If I may be quite candid, there are only so many pages a fellow can read on such subjects before he begins to wish she would talk about the weather.
Harry snorted. He couldn’t help it.
That doesn’t sound like hate, the diary went on. Does it? Not to me. People don’t write forty pages about something they hate. They write forty pages about something they cannot stop thinking about.
Harry sat very still.
She’s horrible to me, he wrote, more slowly. She’s horrible to everyone. She made Ginny cry today. She called Hermione a Mudblood. She said things to me about my aunt and uncle that...
He stopped. He crossed it out, though the crossing out sank into the page as well.
She is very unhappy, wrote the diary. I think you know that, really. She is a lonely girl, Harry. Lonelier than you’d imagine. She has a father who has taught her that kindness is weakness, and a house full of servants who are afraid of her, and not one friend in the world whom she trusts. She is cruel because she has never been shown how to be anything else. But underneath it, you know, she cares about you more than she cares about anything. She worries about you. She lies awake at night worrying about you. Whether you are eating. Whether you are safe. Where you go in the summers. There was the slightest pause. Did you never wonder how she knew?
Harry stared at the page.
Knew what?
But the diary seemed to have moved on.
It is not my place, of course. I am only a memory. But if I were you, Harry, I would be a little kinder to her. She has nobody else. And she would do anything for you. Anything at all. You might be surprised, one day, how much.
Harry didn’t know what to write. He sat there with the quill hovering over the page, and the curtains of his four-poster shutting out the rest of the world, and found that his face was hot, and his thoughts had gone all tangled. He thought of Malfoy in the hospital wing, lighting up when she saw him. He thought of her on the Quidditch pitch, flying in front of the Bludger. That’s how you stand in front of somebody. He thought of the song on the stairs, and her face while the dwarf was singing it, and how she’d looked at him afterwards, as though he’d failed some test. He thought of Is that why you’re so skinny, Potter? and his eyes stinging. He thought, for some reason, of a box of sugared violets.
It didn’t make any sense. None of it made any sense. She was a bully. She’d always been a bully. Hadn’t she?
He shook himself.
What are you? he wrote. You said you’re a memory. What does that mean?
Exactly what it says, came the answer. I am a memory, Harry. My memories, kept safe in these pages, for fifty years. I was sixteen when I wrote them. I knew, even then, that there were things that ought not to be forgotten. Things that other people would very much have liked to forget.
What sort of things?
Things about the Chamber of Secrets.
Harry’s heart gave a great thump against his ribs.
He nearly upset the ink bottle in his hurry.
You know about the Chamber of Secrets?
Oh, yes. I know about the Chamber. When I was at school, everyone insisted it was a myth. A fairy tale for first-years. It wasn’t. In my fifth year it was opened. The thing inside it got out and it went for students. Several of them. In the end it killed one. A girl. I found out who had opened it, and he was expelled. But the Headmaster at the time, Professor Dippet, couldn’t bear the shame of it. He couldn’t bear people knowing such a thing had happened at Hogwarts, under his nose. So he told me I wasn’t to say a word. They put it about that the girl had died in some sort of accident. And they gave me a very handsome trophy, with my name engraved on it, and told me to keep quiet. There was the briefest pause. But I always knew it might happen again. The creature never died. And the one who could set it free was never locked away.
Harry scrawled his answer so fast his writing slanted.
It is happening again. Right now. There’ve been four attacks, five counting a cat, and nobody knows who’s doing it. Who was it last time?
I could show you, if you like, wrote the diary. You needn’t take my word for it. I could take you inside my memory. Into the night I caught him.
Harry hesitated, with his quill held above the page.
What did Riddle mean? How could anybody take you inside a memory? He glanced at the gap in the curtains, at the dormitory door, which was getting dark. When he looked back at the diary, new words were already forming.
Let me take you there, Harry.
Harry paused for a fraction of a second.
Then he wrote two letters.
OK.
The pages of the diary began to riffle, all by themselves, as though a gale were blowing through them, faster and faster, and then stopped, about halfway through the book, at the middle of June. Harry stared. The little square for the thirteenth of June seemed to have turned into a tiny window, no bigger than a postage stamp, and inside it something was moving. Light and shadow. People. His hands shaking slightly, he lifted the book and put his eye close to the little window. And before he knew what was happening he was falling forwards into it. The window was rushing outwards to meet him, swelling, opening, and he felt himself lift clean off his bed and pitch headfirst through the page, into a whirling storm of colour and darkness...
His feet hit something solid. He staggered, and stood still, shaking, as the swirling shapes around him slowed and sharpened and settled into a room.
He knew at once where he was. The round walls. The portraits, dozing in their frames. It was Dumbledore’s office. But it wasn’t Dumbledore behind the desk.
It was a very old, very frail-looking wizard, almost completely bald except for a few wispy white tufts above his ears, sitting hunched over a letter by the light of a single candle. Harry had never seen him before in his life.
‘Sorry,’ Harry said shakily. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to just barge in...’
The old wizard didn’t look up. He went on reading, with a little crease between his eyebrows.
Harry edged closer to the desk.
‘Er... I’ll go, shall I? I’ll just...’
Nothing. It was as though Harry hadn’t spoken at all. Harry wondered if he might be deaf, and raised his voice.
‘I’m really sorry to have disturbed you. I’ll be going now.’
The wizard folded the letter, sighed, got up, walked straight past Harry without so much as a glance, and went to draw the curtains across his window. The sky outside was blood-red. It must be sunset. He came back, and lowered himself into his chair, and sat twiddling his thumbs, watching the door.
Harry looked round the office. There was no golden perch. No phoenix. None of the little whirring silver instruments. No blue man in golden armour between the bookcases. This was Hogwarts the way Riddle had known it, fifty years ago, which meant that this old man was the Headmaster, not Dumbledore. And Harry himself was nothing at all here. A ghost. Nobody in this room could see him or hear him, because as far as they were concerned he hadn’t been born yet.
There was a knock at the door.
‘Come,’ said the old wizard, in a thin, tired voice.
A boy came in, taking off his pointed hat. He was about sixteen. There was a silver Prefect’s badge pinned to his chest. He was a good deal taller than Harry, and very handsome, and his hair, Harry noticed, was as black as his own.
‘Ah. Riddle,’ said the Headmaster.
‘You asked to see me, Professor Dippet?’ said Riddle. He looked nervous.
‘Sit down, my boy, sit down. I’ve had your letter.’
‘Oh,’ said Riddle. He sat, and clasped his hands together in his lap, very tightly.
‘Now, Tom.’ Dippet’s voice was kind. ‘I’m afraid it’s quite out of the question. You can’t possibly stay on at the castle over the summer. Surely you’d rather go home for the holidays? Like everybody else?’
‘No, sir,’ said Riddle at once. ‘No. I’d far, far rather stay here, sir, than have to go back to... to that...’
He stopped. He didn’t finish. He didn’t need to. Harry, standing invisible by the bookcase, understood him perfectly. Tom didn’t want to go back to wherever it was he lived. Not one bit. Just like Harry. Harry found that he’d moved closer without meaning to.
‘You spend your holidays in a Muggle orphanage, I understand?’ said Dippet, curiously.
‘Yes, sir,’ said Riddle.
And his face did something then that Harry recognised so completely that it gave him a jolt. It closed up. It went flat and still and careful, the way you’d shut a door on a room you didn’t want anybody to see into. It was the exact face Harry made whenever anybody mentioned the Dursleys. He’d seen it in the mirror. He knew it from the inside. And in that moment Harry knew that Tom Riddle hated going back to that orphanage every bit as much as Harry hated going back to Privet Drive. He felt something warm go out of him towards the tall boy in the chair. Here was somebody who’d understand.
‘You are Muggle-born, then?’
‘Half, sir. My father was a Muggle. My mother was a witch.’
‘And your mother and father are both...?’
‘My mother died almost as soon as I was born, sir. They told me at the orphanage that she lived just long enough to give me my names. Tom, after my father. Marvolo, after her own father.’
Harry’s heart went out to him again. No mother. Raised by people who didn’t want him. Counting the days every summer until he could come back to the only place that had ever felt like home. It was like looking at himself, older, in a cracked mirror.
Dippet made a small, sympathetic clucking noise.
‘The thing of it is, Tom,’ he sighed, ‘that in ordinary times, something might have been arranged. But as matters stand...’
‘You mean the attacks, sir?’ said Riddle.
Harry’s heart leapt. He moved closer still, terrified of missing a word.
‘Just so,’ said the Headmaster. ‘My dear boy, you must see it would be very foolish of me to let you stay on alone in the castle once term’s over. Particularly after this latest... this dreadful business... that poor little girl...’ He shook his head. ‘You’ll be much safer at your orphanage, Tom. Much safer. Between ourselves, the Ministry is even talking about closing the school altogether. And we’re no nearer to finding the... ah... the cause of all this unpleasantness than we were at Easter...’
Riddle’s eyes had gone very wide.
‘Sir... what if somebody were caught? If it all just... stopped?’
‘What d’you mean?’ Dippet’s voice went up in a squeak, and he sat up straight in his chair. ‘Riddle, are you telling me you know something about these attacks?’
‘No, sir,’ said Riddle quickly.
But Harry was quite sure it was exactly the same sort of no that he’d given Dumbledore in this very room before Christmas. Everything is being handled.
Dippet sank back in his chair, looking faintly let down.
‘Off you go, then, Tom...’
Riddle slid out of his chair and went out of the room, rather stiffly. For a moment, as he turned towards the door, the disappointment on his face was so exactly like Harry’s own that it made Harry’s chest ache. It was the face of somebody who’d just been told he had to leave the most wonderful, magical place in the world and go back to somewhere cold and grey and cruel, where Hogwarts might as well have been a dream. Harry had worn that face on the platform at King’s Cross last summer, watching Uncle Vernon’s car pull up.
And then, as Harry watched, the disappointment drained out of Riddle’s face. Something else came up in its place. Something hard, and set, and determined. Resolve. The very same resolve Harry felt in himself when things were at their worst. The resolve that had kept him holding on to his broom while Quirrell tried to throw him off it.
Harry followed him.
Down the moving spiral staircase they went, and out past the gargoyle into the darkening corridor. There, Riddle stopped. So did Harry, watching him. Harry could see that Riddle was thinking very hard about something. He was chewing his lip, and his forehead was creased. Then, quite suddenly, as though he’d made up his mind, he set off fast down the corridor, and Harry hurried noiselessly after him.
They didn’t meet another soul until they reached the Entrance Hall. There, a tall wizard with long, sweeping auburn hair and a long auburn beard called out to Riddle from the top of the marble staircase.
‘You’re up late, Tom. Where’ve you been?’
Harry’s mouth fell open. It was Dumbledore. A Dumbledore fifty years younger, with not a single white hair on his head.
‘The Headmaster wanted to see me, sir,’ said Riddle.
‘Well, straight up to bed with you, then,’ said Dumbledore. He gave Riddle exactly the sort of long, piercing, see-right-through-you look that Harry knew so well. ‘The corridors aren’t a place to be wandering about in, these days. Not since...’
He sighed heavily, wished Riddle goodnight, and strode off.
Riddle watched him go until he was out of sight. Then, moving quickly, he went straight down the stone steps to the dungeons, with Harry close behind him.
But to Harry’s disappointment, Riddle didn’t lead him to some hidden passage or secret tunnel. He went into the very same dungeon where Harry had Potions with Snape. The torches weren’t lit. Riddle pushed the door almost shut, and stood in the dark beside it, watching the passage outside through the crack. Harry could only just make him out.
They stood there for what felt to Harry like an hour at least. Riddle didn’t move. He didn’t fidget. He stood at the door like a statue, staring out through the gap, waiting. And just when Harry had stopped feeling tense and expectant, and had begun to wish very much that he could go back to the present, he heard something move outside.
Somebody was creeping along the passage.
The footsteps went past the dungeon door. Riddle, as silent as a shadow, slipped out through the gap and followed, and Harry went tiptoeing after him, forgetting that nobody could hear him anyway.
They followed the footsteps for perhaps five minutes. Then Riddle stopped dead, with his head on one side, listening. Harry heard a door creak open somewhere ahead. And then a voice, a low, hoarse, urgent whisper.
‘C’mon, then... c’mon... gotta get yeh out o’ here... in yeh go... into the box, quick now...’
Something about that voice tugged at Harry. He knew it from somewhere.
Riddle stepped suddenly round the corner. Harry stepped out behind him.
He could see the dark shape of a huge boy, crouched in front of an open door, with a very large wooden box beside him.
‘Good evening, Rubeus,’ said Riddle sharply.
The boy slammed the door and leapt up.
‘Tom! Wha’ are yeh doin’ down here?’
Riddle took a step closer.
‘It’s over,’ he said. ‘It’s finished, Rubeus. I’m going to have to turn you in. They’re going to close Hogwarts if this doesn’t stop.’
‘Wha’ d’yeh-’
‘I don’t believe you meant anyone to get killed. I don’t. But you can’t keep a monster as a pet, Rubeus. I suppose you let it out for a bit of exercise, and it-’
‘He never killed nobody!’ The big boy had backed up against the closed door. From behind it, Harry could hear an odd sound, a rustling, and a dry, rapid click-click-click. ‘He never!’
‘Rubeus.’ Riddle came closer still. ‘That girl’s mother and father are arriving tomorrow. The very least Hogwarts owes them is to make sure the thing that killed their daughter is put down.’
‘It wasn’ him!’ roared the boy. His voice boomed and rang down the dark passage. ‘He’d never! He never would!’
‘Stand aside,’ said Riddle, and drew his wand.
His spell lit up the whole corridor with a sudden blaze of fire-coloured light. The door behind the big boy flew open so violently that it threw him clean across the passage into the opposite wall. And out of the doorway came something that made Harry let out a long, piercing scream that nobody in the world but himself could hear.
It was enormous. A great, low, bristling body, hunched up on a forest of thick black hairy legs. A cluster of eyes, gleaming in the wandlight like a heap of wet black beads. And a pair of curved, glistening pincers, clicking.
Riddle raised his wand again. He was too slow. The thing knocked him flat as it went past him, and went scuttling away up the corridor on its dreadful legs, and was gone. Riddle scrambled to his feet and swung round after it, wand raised. But the big boy threw himself on Riddle, and wrenched the wand out of his hand, and flung him back down, bellowing:
‘NOOOOOOOOO!‘
Everything spun. The darkness swallowed it all. Harry felt himself falling, falling, and then, with a crash, he landed flat on his back on his own four-poster in the Gryffindor dormitory, with Riddle’s diary lying open on his chest.
Before he’d even got his breath back, the dormitory door opened and Ron came in.
‘Oh, there you are,’ he said.
Harry sat up. He was soaked with sweat, and shaking all over.
‘Mate, are you okay? What’s the matter?’ said Ron, looking at him with concern.
Harry stared at him.
‘It was Hagrid, Ron,’ he said. ‘Fifty years ago. It was Hagrid who opened the Chamber of Secrets.’